Weapon jokes
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.
During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades? They'll end up only throwing the pin.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.