Weapon jokes
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
A B C D E F GUN.
What's after R-P-G?
W.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
I threw a boomerang years ago. Now I live in constant fear.
Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?
'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.
What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Russia went from N-95 to M-16 real quick...
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
*Shotguns in a nutshell*
2B: MUST.
4B: ADD.
6B: MORE.
12B: *B A R R E L S*
*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!
Lancaster: Are you sure about that?
DB: huh?
Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!
DB: WHAT!?
Penta Barrel: I got 5!
DB: *insert becoming uncanny*
Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!
The others: HOW!?
*and that's how an argument started.*
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.