Weapon

Weapon jokes

Game

    • My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].

    Me: So tell me about it then.

    My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.

    Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?

    My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.

    Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.

    My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.

    Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.

    My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.

    Me: My bad again. Do continue.

    My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.

    Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?

    My cousin: By the game.

    Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]

  • 3

    • Gun

    • Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?

    If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

  • 3

    • Class

    • I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

  • 1

    • Will Smith

    • If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

    Gun

    • When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

    He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

    I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

  • 2

    • Liver

    • Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?

    'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.

    Suffering

    • If the noose breaks, stab yourself!

    If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!

    If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*

  • 3