You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
I made a AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very go chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
" I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friends house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away." " I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever
and also GTA logic
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
Why are the best used guns from France ? Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.
"Knife to meet you all!"
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
Gun + Backpack = Fun
*guy feels something on his back* “oh god, please let that be a rifle” “Nope. I’m just real happy to see you”
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
