Weapon jokes
I threw a boomerang years ago. Now I live in constant fear.
Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?
'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.
What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Russia went from N-95 to M-16 real quick...
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
*Shotguns in a nutshell*
2B: MUST.
4B: ADD.
6B: MORE.
12B: *B A R R E L S*
*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!
Lancaster: Are you sure about that?
DB: huh?
Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!
DB: WHAT!?
Penta Barrel: I got 5!
DB: *insert becoming uncanny*
Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!
The others: HOW!?
*and that's how an argument started.*
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
What is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.
AR-15: Who are you?
Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*