Weapon jokes
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
I threw a boomerang two years ago... I live in constant fear.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
A B C D E F GUN.
What's after R-P-G?
W.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.