Weapon jokes
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
Africa has every gun except for what?
A water gun.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
I threw a boomerang two years ago... I live in constant fear.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."