Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Weapon Jokes
When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.
He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*
Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"
Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
