Weapon jokes
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.
So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.
This didn't actually happen.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.
Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?
You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.
1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.