Weapon jokes
Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.
Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?
You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.
1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost.
So as they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun." And the man from New York said, "Bring me a gun as well!"
The guy was confused but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For the France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shooting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
What did the knife say to the other knife?
"Knife to meet you."