Wealth jokes
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
Ever heard of the currency TNT?
All Arab economies are booming with so much TNT!
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich 😜
What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?
I don't have $1 million in my wallet.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
My syndrome may be down, but my money be up 😈.
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
Yo mama so rich,
her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
What time is it when you stand on a pile of money in the bank?
High interest!
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀