Wealth jokes
I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.
I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"
If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"
Money, money, green, green. Money is all I need, need.
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
Ever heard of the currency TNT?
All Arab economies are booming with so much TNT!
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
Just give me my money (clap clap clap).
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
How do rappers make their money?
By dropping dimes.
People who wannabe rich and famous rappers should always look at Tekashi 6ix9ine, and learn what not to do.
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?