Wealth jokes
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
Yo mama so rich the Socs got jealous.
My syndrome may be down, but my money be up 😈.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
Just give me my money (clap clap clap).
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What do you call a Chinese billionaire? Cha Ching.
A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:
Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Drake has too much meat. Donate to the people in need.
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹
That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
What’s the difference between a pile of corpses and a Mclaren P1?
I don’t have a garage.
The "w" in Africa stands for wealth.