Water jokes
Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?
Because the Africans couldn't swim.
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
I like my people how I like my tea...
In a bag under water.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?
Nothing, they're both receding.
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!