If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
Watch Jokes
Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.
9/11 was pretty great to me, it's just hilarious to watch people lose at Jenga.
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
What is the worst movie to watch at an orphanage? Batman.
Why don't orphans watch TV?
Because of "Family Guy."
"Hold my beer, watch this."
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
Why can't an orphan watch the movie:
It was family rated.
I was watching Avengers and I thought I saw a grape, but it was just Thanos.
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
