I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
Why did the rapper sit on the clock?
He wanted to keep it real with TIME.
Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
