Timepiece jokes

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.

Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.

When you have a hand clock it goes tic-tac.

When an American has it go backwards, it's tactic.

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.

My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.

But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"

I ate a watch once... it was time-consuming.

Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.