Timepiece jokes

My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.

But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.

When you have a hand clock it goes tic-tac.

When an American has it go backwards, it's tactic.

I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.

It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.

I ate a watch once... it was time-consuming.

Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.

Guys to wind the clock up?

What time is it?

Time is like a machine, it slows down when beaten.

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

What time is it?