Want jokes
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can get wanted.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?
Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.
Want to know the difference between an orphan and a flower??
Flowers get picked.
My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
Once, a mother worked in an orphanage as a cooker. She had a son and a daughter—twins.
When she was going to her work, she decided to take the twins with her. They were happy, they got ready and played with other children while their mother was cooking for other kids. Then, a poor family entered the orphanage. They said they wanted to adopt twins. As soon as they saw the children playing, they noticed the woman's kids. They said they wanted to adopt them. The manager said they weren't orphans, but before he said it, a teacher accidentally gave them to the poor family under the names of Layla and Logan. The kids were Kyle and Kayla. They went away with their new children, but the kids cried, they said they weren't orphans and that their mother was in the orphanage, cooking. The poor family didn't believe, they thought it was the children's reaction of getting adopted. The woman went outside of the kitchen, she didn't see her children. She asked the teacher... And when she found out, she screamed and ran outside. She was running at the poor family, when they thought she was a psychopath and wanted to kill them.
When Kyle and Kayla looked back, they saw their mother. They swung their hands so the poor family could let them away. They ran to their mother and hugged her. The poor family got shocked and called the cops. But the mother, she showed the documents and her parent rights. This all explains the worst joke, "Yo Momma Lost Ya."
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".