Want jokes

Why do orphans play GTA?

'Cause they're actually wanted.

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

What do Greek people never want to have on their food? Grease.

Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?

'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!

Why was the turtle looking at her phone?

She wanted to take a shellfie.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?

A: Because they were a racquet!

Why did the M&M go to school?

It wanted to be a Smartie.

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

I actually want peace, not war.

That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.

There are some questionable candies out there, such as:

"All I want is a good Blow Pop."

"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."

"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."

"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."

"Or adopt Three Musketeers."

"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."

Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

Son: Am I kidnapped?

Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.

Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.

I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.

When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

How did the flight attendant want their burger?

Just plane!