Want jokes
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
Why do orphans like robbing banks?
So they can be wanted.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
What do 7 year old girls want?
To be ate!
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?