Want jokes

Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?

She wanted to be for sure for sure!

Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."

The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!

Me: But Billy's with her right now.

Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM

Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.

Why does an orphan play GTA to be wanted? 😂😭

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.

Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.

Why did the orphan play GTA? Because he wanted to feel the wanted level.

What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?

Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.

I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.

Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.

Me: Want to hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

Friend: What's funny about that?

Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

Why do orphans live in an orphanage?

Answer: Because they are wanted there.

So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"

So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

Why do orphans want to be dogs?

Because they want their own bed and food.

What do we want? A cure for obesity.

When do we want it? After lunch.

I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.

I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.