Want jokes

Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.

"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"

"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"

Are you the twin towers?

Because I want to crash inside of you.

Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

"What do you want to eat?"

"You choose."

"Children."

"What?"

*Picks up pot*

"You said anything!"

Israel is so fat, when he goes to KFC and they ask what size bucket he wants, he says, "The one on the roof!"😂

Who wants me to bring back the daily School Shooter Jokes?

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."

Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.

Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.

I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.

Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?

He didn't have the heart to put into it.

One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.

He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.

So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"

You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.

But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.

And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."

"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"

I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.

Want to hear a joke about pizza?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

What's an orphan's favorite game?

GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.