Wanna Jokes

I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.

What's a chair's favorite snack?

Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.

Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.

Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.

There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.

The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.

Like if you can relate and comment if you think this is funny

The image consists of two panels. The top panel shows a text saying "7 y/o me in my dad's car: Dad, I wanna turn on the light. Can I press this button?" with an image of a hand about to press a car light button. The bottom panel shows a text saying "My dad:" with an image of the character Rocket Racoon from the movie Guardians of the Galaxy saying "No!! That's the button that will kill everyone".

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?

Joke,

Jooooooooooooooke.

Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

Who wants to be my boyfriend?

Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.

I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?

Wanna come hang out with me?

She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.

What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?

You really thought n****r, didn't you?

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?