Vs jokes

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?

Elton John is still standing.

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?

B: I don't know.

A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...

B: ...

What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?

1. It stands for inflation.

2. It limits production.

3. It encourages cooperation.

4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.

Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?

A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.

GBM when he sees Soph (gets a boner) and has sex with Soph but realizes he forgot to put on a condom. Soph: "This is why Arsenal fans are so deluded and retarded."

Normal Fans after they lose the game: Good game, you guys played really well. GBM: "BRO REF WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU DELUDED ASS RETARD, OMFG WE LOST BECAUSE OF THIS REF!"

Adapt: Hey Adapt, did you know you're smart? Smart for being retarded. Yo Adapt!! You're so stupid that you gave me your Roblox account info and you said thanks about it!!

Barca fans after the LFC vs Barca game: We bottled it, damn it, we'll win the Copa Del Rey tho. Commie after the LFC vs Barca game: "YOU NEVER WALK ALONEEEEEEEEEE" Normal People: I support only 1 team. Commie: I support Barca, LFC, and AEK!! And I'm the biggest plastic in the server!!

What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?

They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?

A robot can feign empathy.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

What's the difference between a school in Pakistan and an Al Qaeda base?

Not too sure. I just fly the drone.

Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?

Answer: Love.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Dogs are better relationship partners than you. Wanna know why? They're loyal, patient, love unconditionally, smart. Traits you clearly lack, you cheating ass bitch.

What is the difference between a car and a tree?

A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.

What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...

What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.