Vs jokes
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan has all their teeth intact.
What is the difference between light and hard? You can go to sleep with a light on.
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
What is the difference between a human and a human being in a wheelchair?
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?
A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.
Want to know the difference between an orphan and a flower??
Flowers get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.