Violence jokes
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender.
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??