Violence jokes

Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.

If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?

What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?

Optimistic.

What's the difference between a man and a table?

The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.

What are the best shooting ranges in America?

Schools.

What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?

An erection.

I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"

Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.

"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"

How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?

Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.

My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?

What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?

A baby in a blender.

I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.

What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!

Me and my stepmom went into the forest.

I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.

Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.

What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?

A pedophile.

Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?

Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.

How do you start a rave?

Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.