Violence jokes

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.

Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?

Everywhere!

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?

Push?! He fell...

I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

Roses are red, I reload fast...

I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!

I will never forget my mother and father's last words.

"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"

What do you call a violent fish?

A smackeral!

What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?

Nothing.

Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it, but I'm not too worried. I think she is joking.

Why did the woman get raped in the ass?

She assed for it.

Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.

Why are most school shooters mostly white?

Because Black lives MATTER.

My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."

So I stabbed him.

Now we wait...

What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?

A school shooting.

Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?

Tj: Good... you?

Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!

Tj: 😏.

Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!

Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?

Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.

Tj: NO!!!!!!

1 day later.

Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩‍👧‍👦

Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?

Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?