Violence jokes
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
If you're bored, just punch an orphan!
What are they gonna do...tell their parents?
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
Bf: "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're my bf and I luv you."
Gf: "I luv u too."
Bf: "But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, I heard you were cheating, I'll knock off your head."
Gf: "Ah, about that..."
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 2
LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you haven't told her twice.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
What goes pop pop sizzle sizzle?
Two dead babies in an acid bath.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.