Violence jokes

my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.

So I stabbed him. Now we wait.

What's the smartest crime?

3rd degree murder.

Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.

How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.

How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?

A blender.

How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?

A straw.

What is the difference between a whore and an onion?

You don't cry when you chop a whore.

What's a child abuser's favorite song?

"Just Beat It!"

The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.

If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.

They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!

When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."

Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."

How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?

Turn on the gas chamber.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.

If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.

What's the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.

What goes 200 mph and is red?

Babies in a blender.

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.

+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.