Violence jokes
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.
So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
There is one rapist among us.
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.