What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
What's black on top and white on the bottom?
rape.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
What goes 200 mph and is red?
Babies in a blender.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
