Violence jokes
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.
I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."
I shot her, now we wait.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
It's only rape.
If she finds out.