Violence

Violence Jokes

Magazine

Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."

Apple

An apple a day keeps a doctor away... at least if you throw it hard enough.

London

Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

Orphan

If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Feminist

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

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  • Mama

    Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.

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  • Orphan

    If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

    Dead Baby

    What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?

    I don’t put fruit in a blender.

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  • Feminist

    How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.

    Wheelchair

    This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.

    Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.

    Jap

    What did the little boy say to the fat man?

    How many Japs did you get?

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