Violence Jokes

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

I never get school shooting jokes.

Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.

Why did Billy fall off his bike?

Because his dad threw a chair at him.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away...

Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣

Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.

So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪

How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.

Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.

My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.

Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?

Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.

I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.

There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”

What are some another names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”

Q. What do You call a gun that rapes someone? A. An assault rifle

The other day I started watching Game of Thrones I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh so you're still on the first episode then?"

Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.

"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"