Violence jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it.
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
Kill yourself, hoes!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? One alive at the bottom.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A nun falling down the stairs.
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.