Violence jokes

Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!

Orphan: What! No! Please no!

Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!

Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!

Violence is never the answer:

It's the solution.

Get a head in life by decapitating someone.

A B C D E F G.

Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!

So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.

What do Israel and Epstein have in common?

"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."

We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.

What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?

Their ankles.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

Give them a Sandy Hook.

Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.

Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.

What's the same with a controller and a woman?

They both work if you hit them.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What's the POINT in stabbing people?

HAHAHA

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.

What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?

Answer: Putin, put out!

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.

My victims still scream.