Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
An apple a day keeps a doctor away... at least if you throw it hard enough.
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."
I shot her, now we wait.
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
