Violence jokes

A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."

when is it normal to freeze before being raped?

when a policeman rapes you.

How many fingers am I holding up?

Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.

If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist, or join in the fun.

I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.

I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.

I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.

Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.

What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.

What's black, white, and red all over?

A nun that fell down the stairs.

What's black, white, and laughing?

The nun that pushed her.

How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?

By cutting off her fingers.

Like if your dad is abusive.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

You give them a Sandy Hook.

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.

Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?

Because they lost their two best shooters...

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."