Violence jokes
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.
I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
When the school shooter shoots the autistic kid and he thinks he's having an orgasm.
Philza: PUT THE ORPHAN DOWN TECHNOBLADE- NO DON-
Technoblade: R.I.P orphan
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.