What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.
What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.
Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
What’s red and very rare?
A baby in a blender.
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of the pile is still alive.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of pile is eating its way out.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas. He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal. I wanted to tell him “well can we get what we both want?” “ I was already planning on dying anyway.”
you know what I hate about rape? Keeping it a secret.
I once got raped. I was asking for it though.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
