Violence jokes
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
I'll break your bones, b*tch.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
What are American schools?
Shooting ranges.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
What does a terrorist get for Christmas?
A C4.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*
Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.
Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
Not like they can tell their parents.
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.