Violence jokes
A penis has a bad life. His neighbor is an asshole, his friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?
Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.
What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?
1 baby tied to 5 trees.
OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.
What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?
A killstreak.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
What's Adam's biggest fear?
Andy with a belt.
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.