Violence jokes
*School Shooter Walks In*
That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
Columbine High basketball team will never be good again after they lost their two best shooters.
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?