Violence jokes
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
People judge me because I'm quiet.
No one plans a massacre out loud.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
Memes
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read, "Hey, I'm sorry I had to tell you like this but I have been doing your wife for months now." The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying, "Sorry, meant using your wifi."
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Damn, I love being a sniper.
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"
The woman replies, "No, why?"
The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."