Violence jokes
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌
Why'd my grandpa fall over?
'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!
Today a canvasser came to my door asking if I wanted to make a donation to protect women in the Congo.
I told her no.
The canvasser got a little upset with me and said, "Don't you know that the Congo is the rape capital of the world?"
"Then they should be used to it by now," I replied.
LMAO, what is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other's just a watermelon.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Kamikaze!
Kamikaze wh—
おいおい、お前を殺して、その塔ごと地面に叩き込んでやるぞ! いいな?
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?
A bullet.
A gay man enters a bar. At the counter, he sees a skinhead sitting, which he somehow finds cute. He gathers all his courage, goes to the skinhead and whispers to him, "Do you want a blowjob?"
The skinhead punches the gay man in the face with his fist, causing him to go down. Then he drags him outside into the parking lot and kicks him again with his boots before going back inside and sitting down at the counter.
"Man," says the bartender, "but you beat him up quite a bit! What did the man even say to you that you were so freaked out?"
"I don't know," replies the skinhead, "something about a job..."
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?