Violence jokes
People judge me because I'm quiet.
No one plans a massacre out loud.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read, "Hey, I'm sorry I had to tell you like this but I have been doing your wife for months now." The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying, "Sorry, meant using your wifi."
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Damn, I love being a sniper.
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"
The woman replies, "No, why?"
The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.