Violence

Violence jokes

What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?

A nun with a javelin through her neck.

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?

Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?

What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?

It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?

Special Forces incoming!

Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.

I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.

I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!

I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.

Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?

A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.

Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"