Violence jokes
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
Kill yourself, hoes!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.