Violence jokes
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.
A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
Where did Sally go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.