Violence jokes
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.
A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.