Vehicle jokes
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME.
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Out in new whip
I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
What has a magic car? A magic dog.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los