What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair in a burning building?
Hot wheels! 😎
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.
What is Beethoven's favorite vehicle?
A van.
What is the difference between a house and a car? A car can drive and a house can not drive.