Vehicle jokes

What is the difference between a human being in the car?

What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?

A school bus filled with children.

Mosely in a white van.

How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?

She opens the car door.

Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"

What's the difference between a car and a car?

I have absolutely no idea, sorry.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair in a burning building?

Hot wheels! 😎

Kaj je pomaranča rekla, ko jo je povozil avto?

Helen Keller threw the garbage out and broke a vehicle.

What's black and yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of orphans.

Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.

I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.

Why did the rhino eat the car?

Poop.

What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?

He used a bus.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...

What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?

If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.

Why did the car drive over the cake?

'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.

What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.

I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.

Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.

What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.

But what is similar is tha-

Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!

Sorry 'bout that......

Now, as I was saying,

What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.

Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!