Vehicle jokes
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus!
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
What is the difference between a human and a magic car 🚗?
A magic car can fly, and a house 🏡 cannot fly.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.
If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
A Ford?
Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.