Vehicle jokes
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
What is the difference between a tree 🌳 and a car 🚘?
A car can drive and a tree cannot drive.
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
Bus went vrrrrrrrm.
If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
Your mama is so stupid.
Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."