Vehicle jokes
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car? IHOP
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.
What is Stephen Hawking's favourite car?
Rolls Royce.
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
What color is your Bugatti?