
Vehicle jokes
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"
Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"
Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."
Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".
He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"
Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
What is long, yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
I’m going to be scared of diesel.
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
