Vehicle

Vehicle jokes

Van

  • Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

  • 2
  • Incest

  • Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"

    Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"

    Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."

    Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".

    He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"

    Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."

  • 3
  • Mum

  • Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.

    Invention

  • When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

    And then Mark came in.

  • 0
  • Baby

  • What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?

    I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

    Nun

  • Man: How tall is a penguin?

    Bartender: About three foot, why?

    Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!

    Poor car.

  • 1
  • Kid

  • Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

    But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

  • 1