Use jokes
Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
Why do Jedis stay single?
Because they use "divorce" (the Force).
May divorce be with you!
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.
What do cheap people use to talk?
Free speech.
China, unban Google, r.n. noOoOooOw!
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.