Use

Use jokes

Shovel

    • During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!

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    • Yo mama

    • Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.

    Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.

    Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.

    Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.

    Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.

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    • Sandyhook

    • My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.

    Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."

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    • Use memes

    Anorexic

    • I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.

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    • Gay Man

    • How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

    Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

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    • Workout

    • Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

    Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

    1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

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    • Parrot

    • A woman goes to buy a parrot.

    There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.

    She asks why the last one is so cheap.

    The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."

    The lady buys it anyway.

    When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"

    When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"

    When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"

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    • Rule

    • I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

    Here are some rules to make a good joke:

    1: Don't say “my life.”

    2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

    3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

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    • Name

    • My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.

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    • Meat

    • Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

    Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

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