Use Jokes

What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?

"Let us prey together."

my aunt used to say "slow and steady wins the race". she died in a fire.

I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..

I now suffer from anxiety aND depression :\

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why did Shakespeare only write using quills? Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.

God: “Steven join us” *sees the staircase to heaven* Steven: “shit”

This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.

Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by god and made babies!

Dad, how were hoomans made. Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!

Mom, dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)

What kind of vacuum does an abortion centre use A: Dyson

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using microsoft paint

God: “Steven join us” sees the staircase to heaven Steven: “ahh fu-”

I used to date a girl named Ruth but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.

When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a Megabyte and some micro chips.

The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.