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Use jokes

Wall

When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

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  • Mum

    Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.

    Memes

    Witch

    So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?

    Depression

    I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\

    Taliban

    If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.

    Hang

    Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

    Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

    You learn from the best.

    Adam

    Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!

    Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!

    Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)

    Dildo

    Many years of sex in the dark.

    The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"

    The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"

    Wordplay

    When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.

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  • Girl

    I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.

    Bill Cosby

    The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.