What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt The attack misses Titanic Faints
How do trees calculate square roots. They use log-arithms.
Rules of Dark humor: 1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits. 2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes. 3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site. - Sincerely, Zane
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising)
When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine i should use to get the best looking women
He said the ATM outside
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals. In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky. The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud"
So a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex, when he gets to the bar he brags about the different sex positions they used and one of the guys says "oh did you do head" and he responded with no I couldn't find the head
what does the trump adminstration use instead of emails? alternative fax
What instrument do skeletons use? A trombone! Haha!
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
What kind of Bath Bomb does a Emo Person use?
A Toaster
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
What did the depressed kid do in P.E play with the Jump Rope but they used it the wrong way
Why don’t orphans now how to use a phone
Because they don’t know where home is
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn-yards
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant. So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
Why couldn’t people use the George Floyd action figure? Because it was vacuum sealed
