Use jokes
What’s kid Among Us?
Sugoma dik!
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
Yo mama so [full of] kidney stones Thanos used them for his gauntlet.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
Why do orphans use water for their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
"Among Us," dada.
Why did Stephen die so early?
He didn't use long lasting batteries.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitch's forehead. https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski
What flowers do orphans use?...
Self-raising flour.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"