Orphan. Where are my parents
God.New York City
Orphan. But they use to live in China
A woman once didn't return home for the night and the next morning when she arrived home her husband started questioning her about where has she been. She lied saying she slept at one of her friends. The man proceeded to call all her friends all of which denied her sleeping at them the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning his wife started questioning him and he lied saying he slept at a friend. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at them the previous night and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!
What do you call a wizard you uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden, and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she found herself soon homeless, begging for food or money to survive.
She used to occupy a street next to a theater; not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her; every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well, that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every tuesday - just to keep her spirits up.
One tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story, and decided to share his fortune.
Gentleman: I work as a magician in the touring show - today we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate - but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin.
he entered (kinder garten) class the {teacher said luce start for us and say the alphabet) he said a b c d e f g H I J K* just kidding lmno* laugh my nose off (teacher go to the Office right now young man ) i don't understand he just said jokes to the teacher lmao :D
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy litte kid you used to be.....
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for year (not my words)
your forhead so big i could use it to get free tv
Why do woman only use there left arm because they don’t have rights.
(everyone on titanic) ahhhhhhhhhhhhh the ship will sink!!!! (person washing hands) im using the sink wait your turn!!!!! (all crew members laugh) hahahhahahahahah.
I was studying in Turin and my professor told me I had to use PENS only. I looked in my bag for pens and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you Penaldo!
The parents use to hit him His parents got into a car crash and died He became an orphan in an orphanage, the people there hit him, he looked up and said "parents?"
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids so I came and hellped
He won’t stand against the three of us!
Iran: we can beat the USA
Japan: YOU DO REALIZE WE BEAT HIM IN BATTLE SHIP AND HE DROPPED THE SUN ON US
Iran: So?
Japan: TWICE
How do you talk to giants? Using big words
There is one rapist among us
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
Girls: OMG wat color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I’m like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I’m like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me...
How did the guy rob the water park?
He used a water gun
LOL 💦🔫💧🌊
Two kids were beating up a ginger kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
