Ups jokes
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
What's an orphan's favorite game?
"Who's your daddy?"
(Go look up the game)
What is the difference between 9/11 and rickrolling?
The Twin Towers gave up and let down.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."
I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."