Ups jokes

Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?

Tooth 1: Hey, do you like my jokes?

Tooth 2: Yeah, but they're cracking me up.

I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.

You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.

Michael J. Fox came up to me the other day and introduced himself to me. He said, "Hey, what’s shaking?"

I said, "You."

If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.

To Gwen and Freshfry: Hi Gwen and Freshfry, you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. You are the people who I look up to. People are mean to us because I am adopted. Thank you for all of your support!

Alright listen up you penis sucking chicken muching grape juice sipping BLACKIE!!! This is Explain Bear here to explain the joke. So the joke of “Why did the chicken cross the road” is that you expect it to be a funny punchline. But instead, you get a straightforward answer “To get to the other side” which is the logical explanation to that question. The humor is found in subversion to the subversion of expectation. Double whammy!!! So yeah that was another joke successfully explained by EXPLAIN BEAR!!!!! Dont forget to like and subscribe to my youtube channel, and until next time, BEAR OUT!!!!!!!

Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."

I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.

Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.

"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."

Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!

The cannibal got angry, so he threw up his arms.

Your mama is so ugly even the trolls threw up.

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

2nd comments from Gwen in her bra.

Keie: Man Man man! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

heyo: 👅🍑

Bari: STOP U FUCKIN PEDOS!!!!!!!!!!

Kenya Bailey: THAT IS ENOUGH! I AM REPORTING ALL OF THIS CRAP TO THE ADMIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Remera Karwi: Shut up! We jus tellin her she looks like a star no need for all that "crap".

Kenya Bailey: One guy put tongue and peach aka butt I know a little bit about oral sex my friend or not!

Uranus is up in the sky today.

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.