Ups jokes
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."
Memes
Quote Of The Day:
It's okay to struggle.
It's not okay to give up.
Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!
Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dr. Pepper for a check up.
My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?
Asked when will they do up the cars!
I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
A project where people get lined up to be changed.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"