
Ups jokes
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.
If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo hairline is too pushed back, looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!
You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
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