Ups jokes

What's the worst part about getting old?

Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.

Spy: Hahaha.

Me: What?

Spy: Time to pick up your mother.

Me: Oh no....

Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?

A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."

Y'all catch me up, what's going on on this website because I haven't been on for, like, 2 weeks?

"Hey, look at me, I'm stupid named Jordan C who won't shut up and leave Addison alone."

Don't crack this joke up!

I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.

Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dr. Pepper for a check up.

Me people call me emo.

Older cousin: Why?

Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."

"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.

"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."

Quote Of The Day:

It's okay to struggle.

It's not okay to give up.

Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."

What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.