Ups

Ups jokes

Job

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

Adoption

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

Dyslexia

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

Teacher

Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?

Because there was no chemistry...

Adoption

Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.

AKA, you're up for adoption.

Wall

"Is Mrs. Wall here?"

"No."

"Is Mr. Wall here?"

"No."

"Then what is holding up the walls?"

Egg

What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?

He cracked up!

Dog

I smell up dog in here.

"What's up, dog?"

Nothing much, how about you?

Orphan

If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Game

Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)

Me: God, no, help!

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

Man

What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?

Sit down and shut up.

Wife

A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”

Rapper

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!