Ups jokes
Shut the hell up with all these Stephen Hawking jokes, hahah. I wanna kms.
Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.
The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.
After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
Memes
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.
AKA, you're up for adoption.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?
Addison Banks Age (8)
"I'm a little brat who won't shut the hell up! And stop talking!"
What's the difference between emos and 9/11?
The emos are still there, high up off the ground.
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
Y'know, I never knew Obi-Wan Kenobi participated in an anime, "Snow White with the Red Hair," up until now.