Ups jokes
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.
I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.
After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
You know what should give up and stay dead?
Fortnite.
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.
AKA, you're up for adoption.
Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
Shut the hell up with all these Stephen Hawking jokes, hahah. I wanna kms.
Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.
The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What goes up but doesn't come down?
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.