Turn Jokes

If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.

My whife caught me one day for watching a porn channel so i quickly turned the tv to a fishing channel. On her way out she said: 'You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!'

How do you get four prostitutes on one chair? You turn it upside down

what type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole:

A pedophile

What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white and secondly they both get turned on by kids.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur and the rabbit says no So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."

When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A

A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, 'Well I have good news and bad news.' The woman says, 'I'll hear the good news first please.' The doctor replies 'The good news is we're naming a disease after you!'

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

3 Drunk men get in a taxi, the driver knew they were drunk so he started the car and turned it off. the first man gave him the money, the second man thanked him but the third man slapped the driver, the driver surprised that he noticed so he askes why and the third man replies with ̈why did you drive so fast. ̈

I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!

Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.