"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low......... better turn em on just stubbed my fucking toe"
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole? A pedofile
I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex's perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubbas two best friends the three were inseparable agreed.. The first friend said hard to tell can you turn him over the coroner look perplexed but did so nope that's not Bubba. The second friend said he's burnt up pretty bad can you roll him over again the coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway, nope that's not him. Pretty confused the coroner asked how can you tell its not him by rolling him over? well you see Bubba had two assholes, Impossible the coroner replied. The friends said I don't know but everytime we went to town everyone would say here comes Bubba with them to assholes.
A teacher is doing an experiment, about taste. she tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. she gives Suzy a pineapple one, Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. that is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn, the teacher hands him a honey flavor one, Jhonny chews it for a while, then says, "Teacher, I don't know what it is.". the teacher tries to give him a hint and says "it's what you parents call each other when your alseep". immedietly the boy behind Jhonney screams "spit it out Jhonny it's an asshole!!!"
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit, he slams on his brakes, gets out and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired. A passing car slams on itâs brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny pulls out an aerosol can and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The Bunny jumps up runs a few feet, then stops, turns around and waves itâs paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until heâs out of sight. The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says âWow that is amazing, what is in that canâ the man looks at the can and reads the label âHair restorer, with a permanent waveâ.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
what dose a pedophile and a light switch have in common
They both get turned on by children
How do you create the worlds quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gaschamber.
how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5 4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
micheal jackson so white i turned blind
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends Chad just murdered his wife Claire and after doing that he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after My moms reply: Jesus Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess wonât he
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
Aids
How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-*WOOF*
I was walking this hot girl home then she noticed me then the walk turned into a run
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. đĽ
