Tree jokes
Oh, the monkeys in the trees, they dance and they play, Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, they chatter all day. Their tails so long, their hands so fine, they swing and they sway, In the trees, they're the kings of the fray.
Their antics bring joy, their laughter so free, They're a delight to watch, as they jump and they spree. Their mischief is contagious, their fun so true, They're a treasure, a gift to me and you.
Their little hands so deft, their feet so light, They swing through the trees, with grace and might. They're a wonder, a marvel to see, A precious gift, a treasure to me.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
Do trees shit?
Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?
What is a difference between a tree, tree house that yyyyy?
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?
Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.