My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?
Why do orphans sit in apple trees?
They wait to be picked.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?
The emo is still hanging.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*
Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^
Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*
