Tree

Tree Jokes

Dad

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

Tarzan

What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?

Nazrat.

Suicide

A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".

The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

Leaf

How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?

Fell out of the tree.

Baby

What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten!

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  • People

    People are like trees...

    They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

    Crash

    How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?

    Because Paul Walker crashed into it.

    Apple

    What does an apple and a gay person have in common?

    Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.

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  • Koala

    Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂

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  • Family Tree

    Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

    A: Fall.

    If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

    Soldier

    Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?

    Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!

    Apple

    What's the difference between an apple and a black man?

    Apples look better hanging on a tree.

    Way

    How do you lift a depressed person up?

    No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.

    Pool

    What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?

    Swimming trunks.

    Photosynthesis

    The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

    Word

    What were Paul Walker's last words?

    I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"

    Friend

    Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.

    Too bad only one was standing. :)