Tree jokes
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.
Joseph: No, they don't.
Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.
Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
Memes
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?
Fell out of the tree.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.
"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."
"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.
Grandma pointed to the campfire.