Tree jokes
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
Where was Stephen Hawking born?
Under a coconut tree.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
What's a tree's least favorite TV show? Chopped!
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
Yo momma's so stupid, her family tree is a telephone pole.
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten!
"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
I tried to high-five a tree. It left me hanging.
Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.
Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.