Tree jokes
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.
They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"
Why are trees afraid of dogs? Because they bark.
If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.
Now ain't that cool?
What do ya call a group of emo kids hanging from a tree? Ornaments.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?
Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)
Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!