Tree jokes

I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.

They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.

Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.

What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?

They can both flash.

How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.

Fun game to get.

What is a difference between a tree? Tree 🌲 was the day you get.

How do trees find each other? They log-ate!

Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?

I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...

Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.

Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.

Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.

Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.

I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.

The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."

So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.

Why didn't the koala climb up the tree?

Comment down below!

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple has a family tree.

What is the difference between a tree?

What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.

I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.

Son: Where's grandma?

What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.

When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!