Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
One hot day a cow wanted some shade.
He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
ur dad lesbian
Ur sister a mister
Ur family tree LGBT
Ur famnily reunion a homosexual communion
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?
You untie the rope.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.
They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.
