Tree jokes
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.
They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
Why did Sally run into a tree?
She is blind.
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
What’s a teacher's favorite tree?
A geometry.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.